d!rtY liTTle SecRetS

Monday, October 15, 2007

troubled i am... there's this guy chasing me.... another guy.... ok not exactly chasing... but confessed.... and... as per usual... i do not know what to do....... like... i wished such things would never happen so that at least we are friends.... its like i feel so comfortable with him... but now.. i dont even know how to face him or talk to him.... i feel so guilty for feeling this way.. i dont ever want this friendship to go away.... and its like i dont ever want things to turn sour..... ok forget it.... if the answer doesnt come now... it wouldnt come any sooner.... was supposed to play ball with them today... but somehow.. i got no idea how... the thing was cancelled.... mouse was pissed.... that was all i know from the information.... i worry so much for mouse.... i dont even know what's going on in his life... i only have snippets of it to live with and everytime he tells me something i feel so happy.... even if its a small something... but... yet at the same time i feel so useless cause i feel like i dont really know anything enough to help him..? and like he's one of my very good friends??.. this is just kinda hard to deal with... like everyone's leading their own life.... getting their new best friends... but me... i seem to be stuck here.... where the only good friends i have and will forever remain that way are them... i dont know maybe sometimes my actions dont show... but i miss them so much.... and... like i really wish that... in their hearts... my place will still remain there......

I'vE wRittEn tHe PasT To OnlY hoPe f0r the FutuRe 12:41 AM

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

played ball in school today.... with some random people.... one of them looked like alson..... though alson n i are not close.... we've had fun times together and seeing that guy today just makes me wanna cry cause the fact remains that this world lost an awesome guy and he ain't ever coming back.....

anyway..... i've been a little troubled these few days.... there are people chasing me.... and of which... none... i think... i have feelings for.... i mean... ok they're not exactly my type.... and being some particular past relationship has made me wiser and know that i cant just purely go for feelings and try outs and give it my all cause in the end.... you're just being pure stupid. also... its not just the feelings that matter.... i think... at least... that the most important thing... is that we sorta run on the same frequency..... ok... at least something like that...

hahs... forgot... on sunday... did i say? we, Janice, Gary the Duck and i went to samuel's 21st party.... and well Gary said that its his day of becoming a real adult so he was saying that no matter what there should be drinking.... so at about the end of the party, Gary took out all the alcohol he could find and mixed.... there was Guiness, Heineken, Chivas and coke lolx.... there was actually also wine... but in the end they didnt have a cork opener or whatever you call that that they almost just wanted to push the cork in but apparently it was kinda impossible... this guy called bing hui, i think, was also there... in the end they just mixed a cup of guiness, heineken, chiwas and a tiny weeny bit of coke together and handed it to him... for the gals they just gave us coke and a little chivas... in the end after samuel drank the whole thing... he turned red lolx but gary said it wasnt enough so he made another but samuel really cannot make it so he only drank half and was like pleading us to drink the for him i wanted to but gary didnt allow... but in the end i still drank lolx. and turned out, i wasnt even near drunk lolx after which they took out hoegarden.... another type of beer... its like.... it tastes different from the regular beer so it was kinda weird drinking it and then we drank more heineken before leaving... in the end gary sent me home and bing hui was also taking a ride along and its like i was with two red tomatoes.. lolx gary's hold for beer is actually quite strong but.... lolx he turned totally red. he wasnt drunk but just red... as for bing hui... i was sitting beside him in the cab.. he was getting hotter and hotter by the minute... i mean seriously... literally hot... his whole body was warm... lolx i had to pop 2 halls in my mouth before i went home in hope of getting ride of the smell... in the end.... cause of my 'allergy' towards alcohol... i got a headache and a totally bad sore throat the next day and day after lolx.. always happens and i always just dont learn lolx ahh but heck it was hell fun lolx so didnt regret it lolx... i guess... lolx im such a naughty gal... lolx

I'vE wRittEn tHe PasT To OnlY hoPe f0r the FutuRe 6:55 PM

Monday, October 08, 2007

Life's been tough for me recently... but yet at the same time... realli nice to me?? its a mix.... how come i just dont get what i want? i mean well... i sorta got what i want? but in a wrong way? nevermind lets start withe the fun stuff... on fri, we went to play basketball... es, shrek hui yu and i.. but hui yu left first... then in the end we went to tiong to have dinner.... and when we went home es and i started feeling bored and didnt really wanna go home so we went to walk around the supermarket.. and why did we do that? because we had nothing better to do.. but in the end es got some stuff and then we went home.. not exactly.. we went to sit at the playground and had an 'ADULTS' talk.... whoa... real surprising aye?? lolx but yea... it was a really good talk.. then something really infuriating happened... hui yu came home... with abby... ended up they went to have choc buffet and didnt ask me along... and why? cause they thought i didnt wanna and wouldnt be interested..... WHA??!!!!! like halo??? although im not as choc craze as you gals i still love choc??!!!! and who cares whether its choc??!!! the main point is that you gals didnt actually i'd wanna hang out with you all at all?? i mean c'mon! ok nevermind.. its past... now onto saturday... my anger hasnt eased yet but we decided to go out the night before and es mass messaged everyone saying we'd go have lunch together.. ended up everyone came late... and almost didnt have lunch... why? cause shrek bought heavy breakfast for hy and abby and was playing i got no idea what at her house and then when i messaged them saying we'd meet at 1230 they all said they aint gonna eat and will be late.... boy was i about to blow... in the end... mouse also said he wasnt having lunch cause his relatives went to his house and bought alot of food.... leaving 2 really pissed people to take their time and make their way to vivo.... but in the end all things turned out right cause we ended up having lunch... that's the thing with them... whatever turns out really wrong, will always end up right somehow.... and guess where we went to eat? Earle swensens cause es was craving for it... during the whole day, i spend like every 10- 20 minutes pulling up my jeans zipper cause its spoilt and it keeps coming down... leaving my fly open... how embarrassing is that... then later in the night they came over to my house but abby went home cause her mum came to pick her. and mummy treated us to pizza!!!!! omg!!! mum's so nice!!! loves her!!!! gosh i just love spending time with them even if we're doing nothing most of the time... its as they say you never know how to cherish the things you have all along until they perish from your side... i mean though they didnt literally perish.. but spending so little time with them made me realise how much i miss them and cherish them even though we have our moments... and mouse... lolx just wanted to say go for it man!!!! you can so do it!!!and im so happy that you told me about it even though it was just a little snippet in your life that i've come to know about.. i hope there'll be more of this happening and im so looking forward to it!!!

ok the happy part alone took up loads of my time even if it wasnt very detailed so i'll blog another day with more details and the sad tragic part... will come later.... that can so totally wait...

I'vE wRittEn tHe PasT To OnlY hoPe f0r the FutuRe 11:12 PM