d!rtY liTTle SecRetS

Thursday, September 27, 2007

ok back to where i left off.... the camp.... well there're LOTS of details that i cant think in such a short time so let me just continue about something else first.... boyfriends and GEMS and friends.... lets start with friends.... during my holidays... when i was in chalet with jorris and the bunch... i received a news the day after that a friend of mine passed on... at first i thought darren was just being a joker... but no... it was real.... he jumped 15 floors... it couldnt be real.... many of us thought of committing suicide but which one of us has really ever did it... he was a man of action.... last time i used to think suicide was the only way to end all your misery... but no.... there are answers for every question in this world... even if there werent... isnt that then... what drives you to continue living to find that answer? true, no one knew the pain he was going through... he always seemed so... full of life and full of crap... but... he was the first to go.... no one ever doubted his words and actions... but... why did he choose such a path...? now that i thought of it... thinking of suicide as a way of salvation is stupid.... it might have ended your problems for you but it makes u a loser... you're just scared to face difficulties.... im not scolding him here.. ok maybe i am... im scolding him for being so selfish and leaving his friends and family... but at the same time... i know how he feels.... it just gets so hard when it feels like the world is against you and you got nothing to hold on to... and suicide seems like the best way to end everything.... but now that the reality really hit that once you choose this path... there is no return... i just wish that he now... would find that eternal peace that he long for that was missing...

now... i shant be so sad about this because it also dampens other people's moods.... now... boyfriends... lets see.... what can i talk about that considering the fact that i am single...? well maybe lets talk about the fact that i am single! wow... i cant believe i've actually been single for... let's see... a year?? or so??? well i actually thought that i wouldnt be able to handle not being in a relationship for so long but surprise surprise.... im actually living rather well... well wouldnt i if the guy's not right for me.... and the people chasing me... arent running on the same frequencies as me... i need someone who compliments me.. if thats the word.... i need someone who is mature in his thinkin.... someone who is... omg!!! I FORGOT TO WASH MY TRAINING OUTFIT.... ok done.... anyway.... ya like i said i need someone who is matured in his thinking like i mean seriously act lke his age.... and who is actually sensitive and knows that im someone who's really emotional... in other words emo... and... ok actually most importantly he runs on the same frequency as me... i guess that sums it all.... well anyway like laurel said.... maybe i shouldnt be looking so hard for one... well actually im not even looking for one im just waiting and letting chances go by cause i dont do anything to attain the one i love or like or desire... and maybe i should even look out of the box... well... i dont know... who cares... staying single for now aint bad either... oh whatever... im just doing the usual before sleeping drowsy slubber.... and now.... for gems!!!!!! omg... i sorta expected alot ALOT of girls to be in my module but boy am i wrong.... and well the class is fun and the guys are a little too.... dirty so to speak... and some are sexists.... but well i can deal with that.. i sorta chided one of them already lolx but anyway... cant say for sure cause its still to early to say whether they are all nice people or not because i barely even know them... and since my machine stopped i shall go hang the outfit and go to bed now so good night... NG TZE WENG... LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU?

I'vE wRittEn tHe PasT To OnlY hoPe f0r the FutuRe 10:58 PM

ok since i have a little time before ANTM, i shall blog due to weng's dying desire to see what goes on in my life lolx. ok let's start with CAMP!!!! which was like A WEEK AGO.... ok like i dont even knoe where to start? let's see... how about i had an UBER GREAT TIME???? despite the fact that i cried? ok that's a good start. lolx i had to organise some games for them and in the ended i did a blindfolded shoe shuffle.... dont know how its played? see for youself.

this is a clueless ming hui lolx

this is the game... lolx

see how it goes??? lolx anyways....time for my ANTM!!! so i'll continue another later. lolx

I'vE wRittEn tHe PasT To OnlY hoPe f0r the FutuRe 10:06 PM