it just dawned upon me....

ytd while i was being scolded mum talked to me about sth.... that i was real lucky and that i should respect my sis or sth related to that... which is like so totally a turn off. halo if she doesnt give me the respect what right has she gotta ask me to respect her? and its not like i dont respect her. for heaven's sake she's the one who's ill-treating me and givin me the cold shoulder ok?! so just fish off aiite?

o i rmb she was sayin that my dad was sayin that my sis seemed much stronger now and that she was weak cuz she was ill treated by her pervious. and mum said she's such a poor thing that she actualli didnt have the courage to tell her what was goin on and it was becuz of how they taught her when she grew up or sth.. bringin up ways. ok when i heard she probably got ill-treated, i felt sth i realli did feel sth... a kind of pain i cant explain... but the part where she didnt wanna say and mum sayin it was cuz of the bringin up and that they didnt show enough love and all.. like gimme a break! There're like a whole load of things that i dun tell any of you at all.. and the part where my sis got whacked up pretty bad in her child hood.... well i suffered it too aiite? and u tel me its cuz i gave u attitude when all i did was to stand up for myself and till now.. ok maybe last yr.. i still got slapped by u ok? i forgot if i got any this yr but if i did it would be the start cuz i dun realli rmb but i do rmb that u used the f word in my face 3 times and countin i think or maybe 3 this yr which mum would say that to her child man and u expect me to not use it wow u lead by example i follow the example but so far i haven said it in ur face n i dun think i wud cuz im tryin to cut down anyway...

but wateva im tryin to say is..... dun expect me to respect u when u dun give me the respect ok. and hus the one hu pinches me till i get blue blacks when i was younger? u sis.. u.. and mum says that becuz ur jealous that i got more love than u... rite... more love or not... u have no rite to pinch me... same goes for mum.. she has no right to slap and whack me or u either.. but its cuz she's mum that i dun do ath cuz after all she's the one hu brought us here....

and since this is the past... i will let it stay in the past... and mum better not bring it up again cuz.. its the past.... understand that... the past... is where most of my sorrows lie... and i dun wanna hafta to go to where i came from again... im scared of it.... terrified.....

cheers....

i lost my fone.. and now its stolen.... cuz that person who picked it up is kind enough to go switch it off so that it makes it impossible for me to find.... thanks alot scoundrel or slut or wateva since this is a blog i shall be more demure and not add those words in. but im seriously cursing that person and i hope that she or he gets freaking knocked down by the car or i hope he or her slips on a banana and falls off the parapat and dies with blood oozing out her nose and brains smashed coming outta his or her ears or i hope someone just stabs a knife into their backs or sth! ARGH!!!!!

nvm i lost it now mum's rubbin it in.... GOSH does she hafta do that?! my fone IS precious to me im devastated enough that i lost it ok! darn siht! i wish i could just bang the wall now..... DARNIT

Im real gay today and i mean real gay.....

Es and Mouse and Wilson are finally officially frens again today... we went to the most weird place for shoppin.. tiong.... rite....

went arnd findin a bag fr mouse and saw a columbia one which was what i saw at ps when i went fr the exorcism of emily rose with kor kor and kenneth. haiz.. admit it I've got good taste. then went arnd lookin at shirts shoes and all then es had to buy this necklace that i like so much that was worn by Ishida Uyruu in Bleach and the fangs of zabimaru of renji's zanpakutou fr his 'angel'. but thank god he left Ichigo's sword i must get it man.... i gotta save alot up... i got lots of gifts to get for loads of peeps.... haiz.... im totally busted... anyway... then we accompanied wilson to get his own personal acct and all we waited real long for his turn and in the end for some reasons he cant make one..... and WEE!!! i had venezia today!!!! lemon Sorbet gosh its heaven*muackz* though mouse and es hated it and es said its cant be called an ice cream
which in a way it isnt an ice cream. went off at 4 and mouse went to work.. today.. i oso gotta noe something frm wilson and i thank him fr tellin me cuz he trusts me....

ytd..... i went to sas(kor's and di's sch) for no particular reason and went to their audi to hear him play the piano then irritatin kenson was there... then we went to the roof to play basketball... and there was this realli pro guy... jonathan? shud be and wow... didi improved alot!!!!!his other fren sth wei... jun wei..? is oso realli pro... jonathan chops alot on three point....O.O then didi's shirt that was hung on the ledge flew down with kenson's wallet... which is dumb cuz a wallet is heavy....... im not sayin that kenson is dumb dont get it wrong even though i do not like him he didnt really do ath to me so i cant say ath.. and anyway.... kor and hui yu tryin to match make me and kenneth........diaoz... but basically ytd was realli fun and enjoyable...

but at night.... i was playin maple.... i killed like a whole load of mushrooms and had loads of bags of money to collect then this ***** ARGH!!! went there before me and took it when she clearly knew is was mine... *****! nvm... forgive and forget today is today ytd is over no use broodin over it..

and just.... mum was askin me to get the glass outta her feet that was in there like 2 days ago* that incident*.. its out but she says it feels like there still is another one or either it s an infection.... eek....

this wud be the first time i wrote my blog after so many months and the reason as to me writin it again is cuz i m bout to explode and i have loads that need to curse and swear about....


no1. whose mum in any aspect wud take their daughter as a tool for anger management and throw her tantrums on them?

no2. what is my own room have got ath to do with her?

no3.im 15 i know whats right from wrong i know when im in the wrong or not and i know when i shud step down or defend myself. IM NOT STUPID


WHAT THE FCUK IS FREAKIN WRONG WITH HER! HELLO U WERE THE ONE WHO DROPPED THE GLASS BOTTLE I PICKED UP THE PIECES FR U SWEEPED THE FLOOR FR U AND THEN I STILL HAD TO SEE UR STINKIN FACE?! WHERE THE HELL IS THE SENSE IN THAT?!!! what the fcuk.......

you told me to go get bread, i was waitin for the advertisement then i went. when i went you raised ur voice. U havent gone to buy yet! i told u to go get it straight away! i went outta hse shouted back DONT RAISE UR VOICE AT ME CUZ URE IN A FOUL MOOD

came up she was sittin at the table then she spoke next time when u wanna argue u better see the situation and started tellin me off again. HALO! WHO'S THE ONE WHO SOUNDED LIKE SHE WANNA WAS ABOUT TO EXPLODE? WHO WAS THE ONE WHO INITIATED IT?

i said u were the one who dropped the bottle and dont go arnd yellin at me just cuz ure in a foul mood then she pushed the blame on me not washin the dishes and helpin her out in hse work NEVER

not helpin out? WHO IS SHE LIEIN?! so i told her i did them and she said ya thats cuz i told u to! HALO I DID IT I MOPPED THE FLOOR WHEN SHE WASNT ARND OK!WTF I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

ok and then she said but did u do it every day?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH U! IM SCHOOLIN AND I JUST GOT MY HOLIDAYS BUT I STIL HAFTA GET BACK TO SCHOOL OK! WHERE DO I GET THE TIME TO MOP THE FLOOR. ok say i dont help u in the dishes THATS BECUZ I FORGOT HAPPY? but the main point here is that u god damn dropped the bottle and its ur fault that u dropped it n u had to find fault with me in every other things! where the FCUK is the sense in that?!