ok im back ... fer these pass few days i've benn goin to my blog but i cant so i didnt write anymore entries... manda din cme to sch today... then so happen tat tis qian ru seem to make me feel pissed off when i saw her today... to qian ru: sorri fr my attitude i juz felt pissed at tat time... i got a bruise on my rite shoulder and leg and another small one on the left... pain..:( but not as bad.. lol.. so nice they help me rub... thx!!! esp to yuk-chan...but arent u abit too forceful???lolx...ok now back to.. sth... mn im worried fr u.... u cnt take it muz tel me kayz???? u muz cuz i dun wanna see another fren go and i cant afford it... dun stress urself too much i think if u wan to erm... hope u noe wat im tokin bout... i think u shud.. need my help? :D actualli im wonderin... wat were to happen if i were to jump down frm a buildin? hw wil i feel? wats gonna happen??? oyea! i for got to tel u ppl sometimes other than all those moods i have... i can go very high and then wil turn crazy as in realli crazy... sometimes i mite not even noe wat i m sayin...:D ok... funny....my feelins are heavy now n i dunno... o ya and i dunno wats gotten into me these few days... but i started plaein neopets and gameboy again.. :D... TrouBLEd!!!!!

im startin to think whether my reflexes r slow or sth... cuz when i watched a film abt abortion today called the silent scream i freaked out and was supposed to cry but i didnt then when i watched the 7 pm drama on channel 8 bout tis guy losin his luv one and bla bla bla i cried and not onli i cried but i cried terribly. as in realli terrible like those thunder storm like tat....shit and i was so pissed off when i cant my lyrics book and in the end it was like rite in front of me... cock eye :p now i gotta make tis real quick cuz im not supposed to be online... and has anyone not watched the eye 2 yet and wanna watch? tel me i oso wan... o ya!!! today was like so cool! i tried shootin those foul balls by actually standin exactly before the line and not jumpin... it went in kayz!! pro!!!! whoa and i think durin recess i think my attitude abit bad... i suddenly gt pissed off fr nth then when i go plae ball, i go crazy.. haiz i think i gt mood swing everyday ... oso dunno hw those ppl hu noe me survive.. buai song onli my face turn black black then when happy i go nature high like mad woman like tat then somemore sometimes wil turn quiet quiet de then when ppl tok i call them shut up :p but most of the time is my face wil be black black de... haiz oso dunno why at least today's mood not so bad stil in control dunno when wil start to erupt again.... haiz... MA FAN

ok hope tat person's not seein tis... i saw someone whom i i wasnt supposed to see or rather tat person wasnt supposed to see me! OMG!!! GHEEZ... ok i've tried communicatin wif zy... and i found her quite ok but im not gonna take those words i said previously back. nope i'm not. even patrick was like tellin her dun pretend. lol i was like.. ok so im not the onli one... tats comfortin.. i stil cant take the blow... man ppl hu noes mi... tel me.. im ugly rite? tel me the truth i can take it cuz i noe myself.. i noe my so called limits..-_-''''.. man i juz hate bein myself now... i muz CHANGE but not on attitude tat is onli if u ppl think tat my attitude realli suc then i'll try to change ok juz now i had my trainin and was plaein match and was actualli blockin out eric and no offence but his 'perfume' was realli strong and when i sort of had some body contact wif him, the perfume juz went onto mi hand... cool REALLI "NICE" smellin man... ok now all my results r out and i passed everythin---> good...haiz im like stil doin mi hmw now and its like DIFF.... haiz... TROUBLE SIAZZZ!

ok im sort of happy today cuz of my results... i passed everythin but i havent gat mi D & T yet.. but im stil satisfied cuz i expected to fail very badly.. and today i've done things tat i seldom do as a centre~ gifin ppl my butt and so on... but im stil pissed wif tat woman--> zy. She was like so act again and if she hates... then hate! i ask u wud u tel tat person in the face u hate her and shout it loudly and like let everyone noeand all? ok maye sometimes u do but hers was like ... dun wanna say anymore cuz i haf nth left to say actually i do but its beyond my vocab to describe.. ok another one we were hafin a match and she was supposed to concentrate on the match instead of yakkin crap away.. i noe she wasnt the onli one but i heard her voice the most i told her to keep quiet but she continued yakkin if she dun wanna see it go hme... and even anna was pissed i m not the onli one...i dunno bout jo and kim but i sure noe tat its not nice of those ppl (sec 1s) to luff at ppl when they do mistakes on court... damn it sux... ok realli no offence to the juniors but i realli think its rude of them... hw wud they feel if they were plaein and we luffed at them huh?i wil smack their asses! but nah cuz i m cool today so i wun do it . lolx juz kiddin its juz my fav phrase to use now...and i've juz done a so called survey on sports...and i was asked the positions taken by ppl in the game and... i can say tat i've disgraced bball... cuz i dunno the names.. i onli noe the ones in chinese.... tat is totally horrible.... and and and... i noe he mite not hear it o no its not mite its cannot even... but stil ...nvm ..anywaez i forgotten to wish him 4 daes ago so im sayin it now... HAPPY BIRTHDAY .... TROUBLE!!!!

ok ppl im sayin tis now~ i m pissed off real pissed. y? cuz of a gal by the name of ZY! goddamit! ok i dunno if tats her real attitude or wat but i can tel u tat her attitude realli pisses me off. one word to describe her ACT!!!! yang orh! GHEEZ! pls man! willin or unwillin to noe wat made me pissed off, i m stil gonna write! shes like omg dunno hw to throw the goddamn ball properly and u can see tat her face is totally tellin u tis: i m tryin pls ppl dun hate me! F*** the face man! QIAN BIAN! do u noe all thx to her we gotta take one hr to complete 50 si jiao chuan qiu!ok maybe not onli her but majority of the mistakes are caused BY her! she was like throwin the ball and gifin us those... I DUNNO WAT I SAiD JUZ NOW but i sure noe tat it wasnt nice but i dun gif a damn cuz im sayin wat i think she is actually tryin to protray okok not onli tis her looks r like practically sayin ppl pls take pity on me... wateva ok tats wat i feel maybe i m wrong maybe i juz angry cuz she made us suffer but i wun take back wat i say until i realli realli realize tat i m wrong.. n now, another topic~ i think life is realli borin now i haf done most of the things a normal human wud do and maybe some things which normal human wun and its like to repeat tis routine again? too borin.. ok i noe i cud do and explore other things but u gotta noe tat my space of freedom is not alot as a matter of fact its exetremely lil' frm my point of view... and again wat is all these things to me?... TROUBLE!!!

damn!! i m havin a spiltin headache here! im goin to fall sick.. but does anyone care? no they haf too much of matters of their own to care and maybe compared to other ppl i haf less frens then them cuz i practically find tis whole world filled wif different type of ppl and some of which r actually bastards and bitches and others which r those realli act ones which i totally cannot stand!!! i dunno bout the rest of the population and my frenship neva revolves arnd tis three categories.. well maybe for the bitches there is some but the bastards, i havent met any so far and the lack of frens is oso caused by the lack of freedom to go out and communicate well wif them esp. for the other sex.. those who i tok to now is actually considered as me tokin behind my mother's back if u do get wat i mean.. and i seriously dun enjoy tis! actually i gt an idea to make my mum allow me to tok to the other but it mite be quite a risk... tat is me turnin into a les and let my mother find out bout tis and if she scolds i wud juz say tat it was her fault to not allow me to tok to the other and turn to my gals but then again she wud say dun gimme tis type of lame excuses it doesnt mean tat if u dun communicate wif guys u hafta turn the other way and bla bla bla....so it wil all go blasted and i mite even end up not gettin any frens at all... TROUBLE!

ok im back frm the camp n trust me it wasnt enjoyable at all! wanna noe y? i saw things u noe some THINGS another. u all mite not believe me but i saw wat i saw! others had also saw it too. okok let me try to explain v clearly to u all so tat u understand.. it all started frm the time when can and anna went to the toilet then anna heard someoen singin adelwise v softly in the toilet so they got freaked out and turned to walk away then they saw me and they told me so i was like ok but anyway we went to the toilet together again then we went down the stairs then tat time on the first level we all suddenly turned our heads together towards the left where the store is maybe our timin was a lil' slower or sth can saw sth and she sort of screamed a lil'so i strait away turned my head, looked on the ground and sort of started runnin then can said she saw an old man inside the store but it cant be cuz the store was locked! it has those metal gates tat r like frm those olden days theose slidin ones.. ok so nvm then at nite we had to do our nite walk. there were 2 stairs one which was at the side of the store and the other at the end me and my frens sort of gt seperated frm our class so we had to go there ourselves and at tat time we travelled til the stairs at the other end so we had to turn back and rite at the opp. end there was the store tat time my head was down but sth made me looked up and i saw it.. the exact samt thing can saw and i was freaked so i looked down and actually screamed a lil' then suddenly two of my other frens started screamin cuz y? they saw it too ok so we actually went to the canteen and there we saw three other gals cryin. y? two of them saw it too and one juz saw the door of a room openin by itself and tat it cudnt haf been the wind cuz the windows were shut! others saw other things too but were brave enuff to accept the fact but some others didnt and sort of started to cry. i did while i was doin the nite walk and mr blindfold was soaked ok there were others like hui yu she saw others too but i wun go into detail cuz i m freakin out at tis very moment... ok im stoppin now all my problems hafta wait cuz it's oso freaked out

wow..not a bad day today.. i got like PISSED OFF fer no reason today but juz felt simply pissed dunno by wat and by hu.. cool yea??! o well... i've tried treatin her like the way i've treated her before but nah think it's stil the same- broken..but nvm.. at least i've tried i tot after the fun we had ytd, all wud go ack to normal but it looks like i was totally foolish to think of it in tat way...o and if i've offended anyone wif my words these few days i'm sorri cuz i sort of cant remember wat i said to anyone :D liwe looks a lil off these few days... dunno wat happen to her... hope she's alrite... and to hui yu im sorri fr me attitude cuz as u noe i m seriously pissed :D and my GAWD PARENTS ARE SCARY not onli tat they are oso HORRIBLE and many many more dun wanna say too much bout it spoils my mood... i wanted to say sth but i forgot anywayz im too tired til mi brains gone bonkers and i think i din do tat well fr tis exam.. i'm goin fr my camp two days later.. BORIN!! no com no tv no comfy bed...wel maybe not but i think its gna be borin at nite.. haiz... lol thx to kor tat my mood now's gone a lil better thank u !! okok goin off now gt nth much to complain cuz i dun noe the reason y i'm pissed and i sort of m puttin those stupid things aside today cuz i m tired! i need my bed!

today's not tat bad but stil cant help feelin a lil gloomy...manda's lil odd today. looks as if she's angry wif me. dunno y...zy... is....... i dunno i think she's tryin to get ppl's attention..thou i dun deny tat i do tat too sometimes... but can she juz stop it? its like she erm i dunno wat gt into her but 1 thing i cant stand it. hers is like so erm ... i dunno maybe im juz sayin wat i think maybe tats the way she express things.. but i dunno juz cant stand it.. so far i've got 6 on my hands.. gt loads of hme work today and i cant even understand wat tat stupid trainee teacher is teachin~pathetic well looks like i've stil got somemore tears waitin to cme out but its not the rite time yet. ya rite my mum says she spoils me... holy crap man! juz cuz i gt a fone and some others dun she says she spoils me... i think she shud go check the dictionary...spoilin me means lettin me get wat i wan do wat i wanna do and all these stuffs and she says she spoils me juz cuz of lettin me haf a fone... she doesnt even allow me to go to places she needs me to tel her every single move i make... my.. so much for bein spoilt! those hu noes me well tel me do u think my mum spoils me????!!

i did it today..and..i guess there's no turnin back fr me. i need to cry but the tears r stuck....ok there are chances of me stoppin it but i dun think i wud wan to.. its painful..but at least its much less painful than all tat is happenin..and at least tis cud actually remove all the pain..though it wud be pain on the outside.. but its worth it i guess..i'm kinda scared to do it but i actually did succeed but it was a small one.. i tot of extendin it but my skin was too thick i guess... ok maybe some of u wud find it stupid to do such a thing and it but i hope u understand y i'm doin it ..great i knocked my head on the ground today while back peddlin wow felt giddy...thx fr those ppl hu cared fr me ya and i thank amanda lin jb michelle and all those lil ones hu actually cared and concerned bout me though we juz got to noe not long ago... i dunno why everyone thinks i m such a carefree person...cuz i always seem to be alrite after disputes? but i m not i seem alrtie cuz i wil put it aside and think bout it when i gt the time... well u cud say tat im filled wif vengance or wateva...ok maybe i realli m...i dunno maybe im realli sensitive or wat...i juz dunno! and i sometimes wonder wat do my frens take me for..someone hu cud be used as a fren when she in left wif no frens? a temporary substitute? i dunno and dun wanna think bout it. the debate today sux...the judges are so TOTALLY STUPID!
great... i finally cried all the tears tat was not able to cme out previously juz gushed out now tis second tis minute..

tmr's my last paper....well...looks like i'm left alone in tis world again...my frens seems so far away frm me..its like once i m catchin up wif them, the distance wud suddenly get further..much further. stop it..i'm realli tired, too tired to chse u all..pls can u all juz cme back...u noe hu i m tokin bout u noe it i dun care even if u see tis but im tellin u now...i'm tired...and i'm not gonna start runnin again..u wanna run? RUN!BY ALL MEANS!GO AHEAD!i tel u i haf given up chasin..i'm not gonna run nor chase no more u heard me?!...y does it haf to turn out tis way???!ok tis question's stuck here for a long time...wat exactly R frens for???!!! well as a matter of fact, lotz more qeustions haf always been stuck here... wats life for? huh??!!!!someone tel me!!!!ok fine forget abt it no one can ans tis except for the one hu cre8ed us- god...anyway i wanna thank manda lin and jb fr bein there for me when i worried bout things...